Why Domestic Violence Is Every NFL Fan’s Problem
There’s something undeniably magical about the return of fall, with its crisp temps, pumpkin spice everything, and cozy Sundays spent watching football. Every Sunday, millions of Americans tune in to NFL games. It’s a ritual of comfort, family, friends, food, and loyalty to a team. “Waiting All Day for Sunday Night” is an NFL theme song for a reason. But for some, Sunday is not something to look forward to. Studies show that domestic violence increases by 10% on game days. When you live with an abusive partner, the day can turn into a tense, fearful experience. A botched play, a beloved team’s loss, or gambling losses, coupled with emotion and often alcohol,contribute to escalated abusive behavior.
The contrast between the joy many fans feel and the dread some experience is not coincidental. The NFL’s long-standing struggle with how it handles violence against women matters here. For years, the league has faced criticism for its response to domestic violence and sexual assault allegations among players, exposing deep flaws in accountability policies, support for victims, and the broader message such an influential cultural institution sends about the pervasiveness and seriousness of intimate partner violence. For someone living with an abusive partner, those failures are not abstract; they affect real safety.
A League That Shapes Culture
The NFL is not just entertainment. It is a cultural force that reaches nearly every household in the United States. Roughly two-thirds of Americans identify as fans. Games dominate television ratings, drive social media trends, and influence advertising, politics, and even fashion. What happens in the league does not stay in the league.
The scale of that influence is enormous. An average of 15 to 20 million people watch each game, generating headlines, commentary, and conversation across both mainstream and sports media long beyond game day. The 2024 Super Bowl had 127.7 million viewers; that’s more than the next 10 most-watched TV shows in a whole year combined! Professional athletes are regarded as celebrities. Children view players as role models. That kind of reach gives the NFL’s response ,or lack of one, an outsized impact. Even a handful of high-profile cases sends a powerful message when consequences are weak or inconsistent.
How Big A Problem is Domestic Violence in the NFL, Really?
To understand the NFL’s domestic violence (DV) problem, it’s important to put it in context. Domestic and sexual violence are not fringe issues. They are among the most common and devastating forms of violence in the United States. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 41 percent of women and 26 percent of men in the U.S. have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
The consequences for abuse survivors are profound and well-documented, affecting health, mental health, economic stability, and social well-being. But the most serious potential outcome is death.
More than half of the women murdered in the US are killed by a current or former partner. DV is the leading cause of death for pregnant women. Victims are 4x more likely to attempt suicide. It’s not “just a fight”, a “marital disagreement”, or “he let his emotions get the best of him”. It’s not “she’s exaggerating” or “she’s just trying to take his money”. These are the narratives used to excuse, minimize, or dismiss abuse. Narratives that allow and enable abusers to continue their abuse unchecked and leave survivors without support.
Among NFL players, DV is the most common violent crime for which they are arrested. Between 48 and 55 percent of arrests for violent crimes among NFL players are for domestic violence, far higher than the 21% share of DV among violent crimes in the general population. The difference underscores how persistent and visible this problem has been within the league’s ranks.
With its massive cultural footprint, whether it likes it or not, the NFL helps shape our broader norms about violence, masculinity, and accountability.
What Changed After Ray Rice and What Did Not
The widely publicized 2014 Ray Rice incident was the catalyst for the NFL’s first reckoning with how it handles violence against women. When video surfaced of the Baltimore Ravens running back assaulting his fiancée and dragging her unconscious body out of an elevator, the NFL’s initial two-game suspension drew widespread fan outrage. In response, the league tripped over itself to show it suddenly cared about violence against women. It overhauled its personal conduct policy, instituting a six-game suspension for a first domestic violence offense and a potential lifetime ban for a second (players can petition for reinstatement, soooo, not a lifetime ban policy really). The process for internal investigations was amended, and confidential crisis assistance and services for victims were established.
The NFL Players Association (NFLPA) Commission on Violence Prevention was formed, including domestic violence experts to study and guide policies, and to conduct a study with players’ wives to gather their suggestions. All league employees, team owners, staff, and players were mandated to attend annual domestic violence training. In addition to internal policies, resources were funneled to public awareness campaigns and community partnerships, including a donated Super Bowl commercial space in 2015 for an ad created with No More and The National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH). It’s been reported that the NFL has donated at least 50 million dollars (as of 2022) to NDVH and RELIANCE, which is a sexual assault organization that started with seed funding from the NFL.
This all sounds great, right? On paper, it looked like progress. But in practice, the conduct policy has been criticized for uneven enforcement and a lack of transparency. Few players accused of violence against women have received the full six-game penalty. None of the repeat offenders have been permanently banned. Studies and media analyses have repeatedly found that punishment under the policy varies widely, often depending on how much public attention a case receives or how valuable a player is to his team. Even after the 2014 “reckoning,” players with histories of domestic violence continue to be signed, re-signed, and celebrated.
There are dozens of examples, but how is Tyreek Hill still playing for crying out loud?? In addition, in 2018, Deborah Epstein and Susan Else, two of the domestic violence experts asked to serve on the NFL Players Association Commission on Violence Prevention, resigned. Epstein reported that the actions the NFLPA was taking were “woefully inadequate” and that she “realized very little, if anything, was going to happen" and that she was “done helping the NFL Players Association pay lip service to domestic violence prevention”.
Over a decade after the Rice incident, the pattern remains. The names change, the details shift, but allegations and arrests surface each season. Headlines flare, fans debate, a brief suspension follows (maybe), and then it’s back to business as usual. The problem is not that the league does nothing; it’s that its responses prioritize optics and rarely confront the culture that allows violence to persist and be minimized in the first place. The NFL's visibility magnifies the weight of its actions- or lack thereof.
The Role (and Power) of Fans
The NFL does not exist without its fans. Fan outrage and social pressure through petitions, social media campaigns, public demonstrations, and boycotts have influenced and demanded the NFL to make change on a range of issues, from player safety to social justice.
The league changes when public pressure makes it impossible not to. When sponsors pull their ads, viewership drops, and headlines demand answers... executives respond. Fan culture is part of the system, and that means fans have power.
What fans choose to overlook matters. When abusive behavior is treated as a private issue or when talent is used as justification for silence, it sends a message that violence against women does not matter. That it’s not a problem, not a crime worth holding perpetrators accountable for. That it’s not dangerous or deadly. That message reaches far beyond football.
For fans who care about the sport and the people affected by it, the starting point is awareness. Pay attention when a player is accused of violence, and to what happens next. Notice whether accountability follows or the story quietly fades. Speak up when conversations online or in person excuse, minimize, or mock abuse. Lots of fans are already doing this —you won’t be alone! Culture shifts when silence breaks. Lasting change requires collective action, and using our voices can be the catalyst for systemic change.
Support domestic violence and sexual assault organizations every football season. Donate to your local DV agencies or donate to myPlan! Kind of like a carbon offset program, but to “offset” your participation in a league complicit in perpetuating intimate partner violence. *Consider also donating to racial justice and brain injury organizations; the league is a nightmare in those departments too.
Learn the warning signs of relationship abuse. It’s so upsettingly common that nearly everyone knows someone who is impacted. If you know someone who seems afraid of their partner, do not wait for proof. Check in. Say you have noticed things seem tense. Offer to listen without judgment or pressure. You don’t need all the answers to make a difference, just a willingness to see, to ask, and to care. Sometimes that small act of noticing can be life-changing.
Silence Isn’t Neutral
The NFL is driven by profit. Period.
But money follows public opinion. Change happens when people don’t turn a blind eye and demand better. The NFL has the power to influence millions of people, but it will never use that power responsibly without pressure from its fans.
Survivors deserve nothing less.
If reading this brings up concerns about your own safety or someone you care about, confidential help is available. You can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or thehotline.org for 24/7 support. For anyone unsure what to do next or how to help someone in an unsafe relationship, the myPlan app offers free, private guidance on safety and options at myplanapp.org.
